The ‘I’ is zo as old as each one of us is. A young mother may notice her young child’s ‘I’ at moments that she can give her little one full attention and can really be with him/her. The index-finger is the finger a toddler uses in order to obtain something for him-/herself, thus putting his/her ‘I’ in the world physically.  Whilst growing up the ‘I’ encounters a number of stages during which it becomes everybody’s personal history, of which the body will remember all imprints of images and emotions. All stages of the ‘I’ as a whole we take with us onto our adult life, as “the Inner Child”. How it occurs is what this chapter is about. The information in it is far from complete, the intention is nothing more but giving a general picture of the process. After all, for each individual perception and experience are unique!  

The Inner Child is a part of ourselves originating from our childhood. In nowadays life unpleasant experiences from our early youth are still influencing us in such a way that sometimes we are having great difficulty in connecting ourselves with qualities like spontaneity, sense of humour, playfulness, creativity and enjoyment. In order to regain access to these qualities it often is necessary to find the source of the pain, the so-called wounded child, and – to a certain extent – relive the pain and process it with the wisdom of the adult we are at present.

During the sessions this will be looked at, and the healing process slowly develops. Whilst doing this an atmosphere of safety and acceptance will emerge, causing a space for trust for the purpose of healing within the client. This process will take some time to develop. A lot of people are having ”wounded child parts”. Some of them are able to get old with them without any trouble; for other people, however, this will not be the case: sooner or later they will have to go to their doctor, who most probably will advise them to get proper guidance.

Being interested towards your ”inner child” also can come up from the inside out. Either out of curiosity or out of the way you already are able to be with yourself on a conscious level. You may have been wondering for some time about the influence feelings, thoughts and behaviour may have towards one another – in some cases it may even be really confusing, and you would like to know more about it. The ”inner child” is a compilation of experiences and feelings that used to overwhelm us during our early childhood which we were not able to process. This unprocessed part of our past in us pops up every now and then, in situations that are triggering the old feeling of discomfort, having really nothing to do with the present situation. This phenomenon is called an ”entanglement”.  Entanglements, and behaviour coming with them, may cause too much stress in the head and/or muscles and/or organs. The signs originating from this stress can be seen as a trustworthy advice to further activate your curiosity about yourself and to go and see somebody who can give you the said proper guidance.
Taking steps to get to know yourself better may very well turn out to be of great importance to get familiar with your (until then) hidden qualities, and to give them the place in your daily life, needing to be developed further. Your personal comfort zone will change in such a way, that, in time, it will be a warm, comforting, loving, knowing presence. Yes, this does take courage. And yes, the reward is something to really look forward to. You will do this by yourself, praktijk Karuna will be standing by your side to support you all the way.

How did we create these ”wounded child parts”? – At first it wasn’t always obvious that during our childhood things went wrong. Within the family we were used to cosiness, playing games, at times there used to be a lot of laughter. Children had nick-names. Nothing to be unhappy about. Being an adult, we know for some time now: it’s not always easy to understand somebody really well. Because we know this person so long, we may be able to make the right assumptions, or we ask for some more clarity. So did our parents: in the period of our lives that we were unable to express ourselves in language, they anticipated on what our body showed. Out of this anticipation manners developed. It is very well possible that these assumptions didn’t work properly for us, not in the past nor nowadays. Because we suspected our parents did their utmost we just let it be. Thus being the origination of all misunderstandings which through the years could develop to what is called boundary-crossing behaviour. Another source of such behaviour is our parents not properly dealing with their stuff. Thus causing cosiness in the family getting the improper function of distraction from brewing disputes. When seeing discussions between our parents growing difficult, we were used to blame ourselves for it. We could not figure out how that used to work, there was no other explanation that we ourselves were the source! When this happened again and again, often enough, confusion emerged from within ourselves, with in it a huge chance of inflicting our feeling of self-esteem. These are some conditions necessary for the creation of ”wounded child parts”.

Aim of inner child work is, as an adult, contemplate on and work with the wounds we caught as a child, in this process appealing for the wisdom and self-healing qualities of our body and our mind. This implies differentiation of old pain from present experiences. This we do by means of body awareness, giving attention to locations in the body that are asking for it for many years already. Giving words to whatever comes up. Breathing consciously. There will be a loving atmosphere in which vulnerability may come up and just can be. The aim is to be with what is. Acceptance. This way the old pain will obtain a proper place in your history, thus avoiding present experiences being inflicted with old charge: your inner child will integrate in your present adult being, it will be needing less attention. Your influence on your thinking and acting increases. This way your ability to live your own life will be a reality. You discover who you really are: ”There is no other greater ecstasy than to know who you are” (Osho).

From here, your future is going to be more about responding to life, instead of defending yourself against it.

Exhibit 1: “The Five Nature-oriented Principles … Read more …”

Exhibit 2: “Looking at the Inner Child more closely … Read more …”

Exhibit 3: “Healing unhealthy relationships … Read more …”

Supervision, inter-vision, inner-vision, other learning moments

The training programme to be a Primal Rebirth® therapist does not end after having received my diploma.  Because of ongoing research and as a result of it altering insights all over the world, participation in the programme for supervision, inter-vision and inner-vision of the Training Institute AUMM  is needed. The supervisor is a psychologist with over thirty years of experience  in body work as well as inner child work.

Also, I am member of the team of assistants in the training workshops of the Instituut AUMM.

Other activities with the purpose of staying informed professionally: 

I participate in an intervision group for Systemische Struktur Aufstellungen (systemic structure constellations). Out of this group constellation platform ”Open Vloer” emerged, with its home in DJOJ, a spiritual centre in Rotterdam.

Three times I joined the international training intensive for organisation constellations, IOCTI, taking place every two years (next IOCTI is scheduled in October/November, 2022).

What effected me the most, is ”in experience, staying close to myself”. My orientation used to be outward, out of connection. Through being close to myself, I am able to sense my share in interactions, and take responsibility for them. This I had to learn, a long-term process.

Nowadays I can say: ”I am happy with me” – something  I would really like everybody to achieve in his/her life. In case you need support for this purpose, as well, I will gladly be there for you. – From my own experience I know: don’t hesitate, go for it. Because, you know … in your life there is only one hero: YOU – that really is you.

“Trainings – Read more …”

                    Continue reading Quality →

A life lesson can present itself when we discover new versions to our once so brilliantly developed survival strategies apparently no longer work, and we got tired of seeking other ways to smoothly continue with our lives. Sometimes we already noticed somehow friendship doesn’t flow as it used to, or we just don’t understand what’s going on, but what we do notice is that something did change in an unfavourable way.

If you want to investigate what is going on, come to Karuna – coaching with life questions. Compassion and respect are available to you for everything which contributed to your development to who you are. Emotions like fear, anger, pain, sadness are very much welcomed. Consequently, you will find involvement, safety and trust with all steps in your search to the source, growth and the way out with regard to the questions you may have – in order to look for and find deepening when and where necessary. As well as warmth and understanding with everything  that you encounter regarding new impressions, feelings and sensations. All this is welcome!

Setting up a basis for the new phase in your life, you will be reconnected to your personal strength, wisdom and vulnerability. There is no good, no wrong. Everything which pops up is there in favour of you, for you only. It is going to be an interesting walk on the path back towards your essence, rediscovering what you long knew but didn’t remember any more: that you are a beautiful, gentle and sensitive human being, with special, unique, qualities. From this new point of view you can be excited again about who you are. You will look at yourself with compassion because of which there will be less space for the old judgments and ditto habits, for you will be conscious about their source. It will be normal again to live in your heart, from there opening yourself toward all other beauty life has to offer. Because, you know … it’s you who is the hero of your life!

Family constellations is a method which shows us what place we take in the group of relatives in which we were born, or the family of origin where we grew up. This method is helpful when we would like to pull to consciousness, for instance, old habits of which we sometimes wonder whether they are so helpful to us in nowadays life. These little, or often  not, working behavioural patters can be the cause of problems which at first sight can hardly be explained.

For instance: a father who has really high expectations with one of his daughters; a mother who maintains silence about the father’s name of her firstborn child.

A lot of questions about our life, maintaining relationships with our relatives, family, friends and spouse can be downsized to what is called entanglements in the family system. This is  about unconscious or half-conscious connections from which we can disconnect respectfully and lovingly. As a result amongst others our creativity can flow freely at last.

This method is being executed in a group. The person with the request for a constellation (about which the facilitator and the group member will have a talk), will put up other group members to be representatives for elements mentioned during the preceding talk. He/she gives every representative a place in the room, this happens intuitively, according to his/her inner picture. Then he/she will sit down on one of the empty chairs. Then, something special happens. The representatives somehow feel connected to one another, like in a family. In the developing picture the person with the question notices loyalty between two or more relatives, or the lack of connection somewhere else in the constellation. He/she witnesses what has been noticed internally, possibly for many years. The facilitator of the constellation will provide some interventions which may lead to (more) insight, maybe even to a loving and respectful solution of an until that moment figurative connection, after which the representatives and the other group members will relax notably. Thus the person with the question can recover what he/she thought to be lost until the constellation.

How this works, is unknown. In the meantime there is countless proven evidence of the workability of the method.

This working method has been originated out of Virginia Satir’s work, an American psychologist, in the 50’s en 60’s of the twentieth century. The most famous person who further developed this method is Bert Hellinger. Since then systemic work has been developed even more, in dozens of techniques, amongst which constellations for organizations, as well as sickness and health.

A recently developed constellation method is the life integration process (LIP). As life keeps on unfolding itself most of us don’t have much awareness of the diversity of successive stages of life. This is one of the reasons why we often do not realize what we have gone through in order to arrive where we are today. In the life integration process you will be working with representatives for a number of stages of your life. You’ll have the opportunity to communicate with them. Sometimes there will be no talking, then hugging may be the only way of communication needed. Sometimes it is astonishing. Often it is surprising. You will get a lot more appreciation for who you are. And that may be seen, as well as experienced, finally.

There are two ways to participate in constellation workshops: people having an issue to be looked at, and  people who are interested in the work, not having an issue. Because of this difference participation fee varies: for somebody having an issue the fee is €70, for other participants this is €40. Please note that all workshop participants can be requested to represent elements of a constellation.  

Would you like to participate in such event, and would you like to read a bit more about the method of systemic work?      

Terms and conditions for our services are to be found under Terms and Conditions.

A therapy session consists of four stages: saying hello and have a little chat, experiences of the past few weeks, formulate the question(s) which popped up, and closure. Usually sessions take seventy five minutes. 

Anything can pass by during these five quarters of an hour. It’s important to know that this is almost limitless: you’re allowed to be really angry, to show your sadness, to be confused, to be in silence. The source of the emotions you encounter will be welcomed; we will look into the idea you may have: ”Emotion is intolerable” because of which it is impossible to simply let out your emotions. Whatever happens, with us you can allow yourself to feel safe. Ultimately, we will work to the point that you can be invited to relax in your emotion. All together the whole process may turn out to be an exciting adventure.

Why would you come to Karuna – coaching with life questions? One reason could be that you have this uneasy feeling of not being really happy, it’s unfamiliar and you don’t like it. Or: every now and then this tension in your body occurs. Or: something’s changed in the relationship with your partner, or really good friends: sometimes it’s really bumpy, and that disturbs you.  – Maybe you have become used to these observations, you’re coping with the experience. Sometimes though, things may be hidden underneath which want to be seen, recognized. This may turn out to be really clarifying – both to yourself and your partner or friends, with a realistic chance of relaxation in the relationship.

The method we use is Primal Rebirth® Therapy (PRT®), developed by the Opleidingsinstituut AUMM, with a lot of attention for the way your body organizes breathing. Also: being in the moment. ’Consciously being’ will help you become aware of its being helpful in a developing relationship with other people. In sessions with one client systemic work, too, will be able to contribute to clarity. See ’Constellations’, in this website. With PRT® we often will be working with body-oriented therapy. Important additional methods with bodywork are: inner-child-work, primal somatic trauma healing, bio-energetics, neo-hypno therapy, NLP. More information about PRT® can be found by using this link. In case you also would like to know who developed PRT®, please use this link.

With couples counseling we work with one of the partners, as well as both. It is good to be aware of the fact the therapist aims for a neutral position, one without judgment. In one session there may be more attention for one of the partners, in the next that maybe the case for the other. The way a couple interacts with one another is also subject to therapy. In sessions with only one of the couple systemic work, too, will be able to contribute to clarity. See ’Constellations’ in the same section of the website. Attachment issues, too, may come up to become aware of: during our whole youth, the interaction with our parents had a certain impact on the way we interact as an adult in intimate relationships. In case you are curious about this subject, you may want to read  the paragraph Inner Child Work / Unhealthy relationships. 

Terms and conditions for our services are to be found under Terms and conditions.    

Below you will find links to websites of institutes where I have had trainings and teachings,  subjects that have greatly inspired me, sometimes for many years, as well as institutions of which I have to be a member in order to be able to do the therapeutic work.

Training Institute AUMM    Starting point of the huge adventure in order to find out ”Who am I, really?” In 2016 it is expected that I will finish the training for Primal Rebirth® therapist (in process of being trained, finish in 2016 or 2017), place for innervision, intervision and supervision.

Essence work    Very important for me to learn to know who I am, to find rest with who I used to be, as well as who I am at present, with which I eventually was able to open my heart for the total of who I am. Through Essence Work I was able to reset the way I relate with me as well as with other people. One of the results is that I can be present in a more solid way than I used to be.

Bert Hellinger Institute Netherlands    Operating base for almost all education with regard to systemic work, particularly constellations with regard to family, organisations and sickness & health.

NTI NLP    Location where I learned to work with Systemic Structural Constellations.

Constellations platform ‘Open Vloer’    This platform emerged from the intervision group for Systemic Structural Constellations, a group of five people passionate about this way of constellation work. Of course we also work with other constellation competences. Every six weeks Open Vloer organizes a constellation workshop, mostly in Rotterdam.

PSYCH-K    This is a method that works with limiting convictions. The client works with his/her convictions in a direct way in order to transform inner stress in a growth attitude.

ZO-IB    Self Development on the Move. Individual support focused on functioning at the workplace. A very interesting, uncommon approach. 

Tarot Stap voor Stap    At various levels of what we  essentially are the Tarot deck gives us insight in our inner selves. Coincidence does not exist.  A beautiful way of understanding what’s going on behind all sorts of questions.  

Stichting Pelita    An association for people who have their roots in Indonesia, but have lived in the Netherlands for many, many years. Once a month the members can meet and greet, thus enjoying shared culture and history in a relaxed way.

SBLP    This professional association assists her members in keeping them posted of the latest changes in regulations and other matters regarding the practical side of being a therapist.

Register Beroepsbeoefenaren Complementaire Zorg.  My name is registered in this register for complementary care. Being a registered therapist BCZ® I, together with my activities, am subject to disciplinary law following TCZ (disciplinary standards complementary care).

U bevindt zich op de Engels-talige versie van de website van praktijk Karuna. U kunt de website ook in het Nederlands lezen, gebruik hiervoor het uitrolmenu onder “Language”.

“I can’t explain … almost everything is going well … I’m just not happy!” Do you happen to have these thoughts, too, every now and then, and do they seem to come up more often, lately? And do you sense some sort of stagnation in developing yourself and you don’t have a clue of the source of it? Does this, or do comparable situations, occur to you, too? If you wish to be happier, and to have a more pleasant life, with more contentment of the quality of your life, praktijk Karuna can help you turn the tide forever.   

Possibly you have been contemplating about sharing these experiences with somebody whom you don’t know, looking at and listening to you with a kind eye and an open ear. Maybe even someone who once had questions of the same kind. Karuna, for therapy & coaching just may be the place for you to be: a safe environment for exchanging thoughts and sharing of emotions as well as moments of silence. In case you feel the need to do so, please contact us. By phone: 06-21228998 (leaving an sms or voicemail in case your phone call is not answered immediately), or e-mail (praktijkkaruna@gmail.com). Please remember to also let me have your phone number. No charges will be asked when you would like to have a chat about your questions and concerns.

The source of the word of Karuna is the Sanskrit language. Karuna means compassion, tenderness. It goes without saying that time and time again you are invited to take from these qualities all you need to feel good, and to heal whatever you need to be healed.

Kindly,

Ranjana Wiersema